Our Customer Success Wrangler is available via two formally supported channels. Please review all options carefully before attempting contact.
Gary accepts correspondence sent via the postal service to the facility address. Letters should be handwritten or printed and placed inside an envelope. Please do not send parcels containing food items, as Gerald has twice intercepted packages left at the gate.
Include your name, tier level, and a brief description of your enquiry. Gary will respond by post within 7–14 business days, or sooner if he gets around to it.
Gary holds a weekly office hour at his preferred venue, located 8.2 km due east of the elk farm. This is the only synchronous communication channel ElkScale offers. There is no video call option. There has never been a video call option. Please stop asking.
Gary will be seated at the bar unless it is busy, in which case he will be at the table nearest the fruit machine. He will be wearing a green fleece. He is always wearing a green fleece.
Gary has an email address. He does not check it. The last email he opened was in 2021 and it was a Domino's voucher. He printed it out and used it.
Gary's mobile number appears on some older booking confirmations. This was a mistake. He has requested it be removed. He will not answer.
There is no live chat. The chat icon on our pricing page opens a mailto link that goes to Gary's email. See above.
We trialled a ticketing system in Q2 2024. Gary found the notifications "distressing." The system was decommissioned after eleven days. All open tickets were closed as "resolved."
Gary does not own a webcam. Gary does not want a webcam. Gary has asked that this be stated clearly and prominently on the website. This is that statement.
The @ElkScale account on X is managed by Gary's nephew Callum. Callum does not know anything about the elk. Do not DM him with operational questions.
Green cells indicate confirmed in-person office hour availability at The Rutting Node. All other days: write a letter.